Friday, August 14, 2015

T H O U G H T S .

First of all, I'd like to say 'hello', I have been away for a long time and it saddens me, I used to write a lot, I loved writing. But for last few months, I feel like I feel so pressured to share everything.

I don't mind strangers, readers or viewers knowing my stories, but as my channel grows, distant relatives too, get to know my online activities and it's frustrating because I don't share the same values with them and I wouldn't care what they say, but if it affects my inner ring-one, then I'd care.

So much prejudice, so much expectations here, and so many people who like twisting things around.

So I decided that I won't link some posts to my Google+, but if you happen to stumble across this, please read with an open mind and don't twist anything around.

I was out of my mind frustrated this past month during holiday, because this holiday happens to combine both semester break and Ied Holiday. I had to go through so much of "when are you getting married"s and the 'why does your daughter look so westernized' looks from family members, and it's hella patronizing despite not knowing how strongly I hold my own values, people would still judge.

I am 21 years old.

There are so much things in life that I don't know, that I will later weep and learn, but you can't expect me to close my mind to things that I have been educated on and seen so far.

Do I think like a westerner? yeah, on some things I guess.
don't expect me to agree to shit like girls get married and stay home and make babies and take care of them and cook and wash dishes and have sex just for their men. HELL FUCKING NO.

If girls want to work, earn better than their partner, hold off having kids for personal success, WHY NOT? if someone had an 'accident' and they need an abortion because they're not ready, and it would hold them off, then fucking do it. If a female person wants to have sex outside of marriage, for their own benefit, then I don't mind because it doesn't affect me AT ALL, does it make them a whore? NO DUDE, if you think that, then your place isn't here, go back to 1940.

Do I hold on to my (preferred) eastern values? YES.
Personally, I really don't have an obligation to share this, but I think I should, so that small minded people would understand.

I have promised me to save myself for marriage.
Not because I value a worthless thin skin called Hymen inside my vagina.
BUT I RESPECT MY GOD and MY "FIRST TIME".
If what's worthless to me might mean a little something to someone I'll be spending the rest of my life with, then I'll save it for them as a little present.

BUT I PROMISE YOU, IF A POTENTIAL LIFE PARTNER EVER ASKS ME IF I WAS A VIRGIN BEFORE ASKING MY HAND IN MARRIAGE, I WILL SLAP THEM AND WALK AWAY AS FAST AS I COULD. 

Now, here's the potential FUCK YOU, YOU DEVIL WORSHIPER WESTERNIZED INDONESIAN WHORE WITH NO VALUES YOU'LL BURN IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER part;

Do I have a boyfriend? yes I do,
Do I go to places/travel with him? yes, sometimes.
Do I sleep in the same bed with him? NO, OFCOURSE NOT. (but if you do, its your choice and it's completely ok)

..as do most of the people my age. I just have a very exposed life in comparison to others given my social media activities.
I see cousins and relatives my age travelling with their partners on Path and I'm chirping at how cute they are, yet their family members talk about my PROM photos with a male.

It's fucking ridiculous.

I'm sorry for the long post, I really need to get this off my chest.
I hope I didn't bore you.

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