Saturday, March 30, 2013

Honey Monroe, My Love.

The dose of sanity I've been taking is boring me out. I have been too normal these days and I can't take it anymore. I know awesome people don't need companionship to be awesome, but I'm not going to lie that life hasn't been the funnest without my friend(s). Everybody has got their own schedule and things, even those who calls me best friend, would come to me when they need someone, not when I need them. Those are terrible thoughts, especially when I have never thought of them that way, and was always so willing to try to help. But when everyone grows up, this little part of life called nature just forces you to, as well. I'm not going to grow up as fast, that's just something I chose on my own. I'll prolong my teenage as far as I could, as I would.

That dark story aside, what I meant by me being slightly normal of course also include laughing like a maniac at two in the morning while watching Robert Downey Jr. on Due Date. Genius. I shall also share my current favorite cookie,
I'm sorry for my hobo-class-time look. That's how I look most days at the campus, and some days, believe it or not, I look worse. They're the Quaker Oats cookies and m favorite is the Apple Cinnamon cookie. They taste like paradise, and I need a vacation most days ;)

Anyways, that's enough of the terrible long weekend I'll most likely be spending in front of the screen with my guitar, HoMo, (stands for Honey Monroe, no, I'm not a homophobe, in fact, I love HoMo.)
That awkward confession thing being said, I need to leave it to that.
Have a lovely long-weekend.

xx, nessie.

The 22nd

I went and get myself this album a week ago,

I love FUN., not just because they're basically the best band today, but also because their music makes me feel things. Not a lot of song does that to me. I love this album, absolutely amazing.

How do you spend the 22nd day of every month, if you're a die-hard Starbucks fan or a cheap-ass college student who enjoys coffee like me, I'd expect to see you with your Tumbler waiting in line for a 50% discount on all beverages. HAHA.

xx, nessie

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Silence

Emptiness please look away,
I need a time alone,
To mend this broken heart,
That's shattered in Silence.

The silence of the trumpet,
When there's nothing to celebrate.
The silence of the glass,
Just before the floor is trashed.

The silence of the lights,
Out there in a big city crash.
The silence of the powerful,
Trade some souls in turn for cash.

The silence of some who talk, not speak,
The silence of the empty hands,
The silence of the armless soldiers,
The silence of the legless kids.

Their tears have gone dry,
Their words aren't to be heard.
While some sit on a throne in sympathy, 
Look at the mirror and taste the silence.

© Nasreen A Judge 2013. 
All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, March 17, 2013


Wanna see one of the most embarrassing things I've ever been a part of?
You're free to laugh at my obnoxious face or that silly dress I won't ever be wearing in my real wedding day, doesn't even make a nominee. It's a photo-shoot done for a wedding catalog or something fishy like that. My best friend and I were asked to do it.
I got about US$ 40 off of it, I thought it would never come up anywhere ever again until my dad's secretary showed her colleagues at the office. 
Might as well put it on my blog, so a few more people can have a good laugh. 

xx, nessie

Saturday, March 16, 2013

This Runaway

A candle,
Burning what's within me,
Not another word I'll say, 
Not another tear I'll shed. 

Where you're not wanted, 
Is where you should never be,
Not another chance I'll take,
In the place I can only break.

So give it up, let me go.
Give it up, I will go.

From tonight, 
We will never ever be the same, 
Strangers danger is a game,
You won't like till you try, right?
We'll defy gravity, 
Break all the rules while at it,
We're the dust, in the air, 
Swept by the wind in this runaway.

See, they worry, 
Of something that was never me.
I'm not an angel but I'm not bad,
I won't wake in pain, feeling shame.

Now, It's us,
Those who were never theirs to keep,
Night by night we'll stay like this,
Dream to dream and kiss to kiss.

Pity those who stay in cage,
Wondering what could have happened, 
Those who wandered but was never lost,
Those whose coffins are filled with regrets.

© Nasreen A Judge 2013. All Rights Reserved.


If YOU, my friend, are looking for the best hoodie in the world, congratulation, you've come to the right place. :D 
I made myself this amazing thing yesterday! I'm sure not everyone understand my strange kind of humor, but whatever, I love how it turns out! (:
Black thin hoodie 20k, Acrylic Paint 28k, Sewing Kit 6k. 
All and all, it took me 54k for this top. Good deal? ;)

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

“The heartbreak of love sings, the sadness of knowledge speaks, the melancholy of desire whispers, and the anguish of poverty weeps. But there is a sorrow deeper than love, loftier than knowledge, stronger than desire, and more bitter than poverty. It is mute and has no voice; its eyes glitter like stars.”
-Khalil Gibran

Coffee Shop and Good Music

If you ever visited my tumblr, you are probably aware of how often I visit coffee shops,  not to mention any names, but I go to, mostly, one in particular. Oh, funny to be subjected, I was actually caffeine intolerant just a few years ago. Once I had a regular grande cup of Caramel Frap. and my body started shaking, my heart-rate increased abnormally and I felt like I was going to die, but I.. lived. Heh. I'm quite satisfied with the explanation planted in my head of how i made peace with it; a.) I used to play soccer, a lot, so my heart was constantly pumped, and b.) I gained like a ton of weight, so then there are rooms for more fairies and elves to live inside me, and they share the coffee, so they're not over-drinking it. Yeah, sounds solid.

There's just something about coffee shop, the smell of coffee, caramel and chocolate, the people minding their own businesses, the annoyed and annoying baristas, the comfortable couches and the music. YES, THE MUSIC. Those classical tunes that once in a while stops you from doing whatever you're doing to think, "Damn, I'm downloading this as soon as I get home" or just have you stunned enough to enjoy them. Underrated quality of a great place. I feel like heaven will partly be in a form of a great coffee shop, but idk, we'll see. (:

Ah, that being said, I was once again stranded in the coffee shop just a few hours ago. My little sisters had a hangout session with her friend and I had to play baby-sitter, sacrificing my only day off this week. Beside the awful two hours I spent listening to 7 year-olds singing in karaoke, it wasn't that bad but every second I get to spend with my little sister is every moment I cherish, so there's that.
(I love my Zara buttoned shirt and new Esprit glasses. I don't think I was wearing pants. Kidd)
Okay, I also have no clue why they still ask me to baby-sit, I'm obviously the worst. I let these kids sing locked out of heaven and big time rush. Eeep.

Jokes aside, I was in an accident yesterday, nobody got hurt but Jazzy (my pink car, yes, I name everything I have, get over it). I was very emotional about it, because I have tried very hard to keep the car safe, anger just float all over my body and empowered me as I found the satanic-blue stains. It was raining and a shuttle bus was stopping on the side of the road, right on a turn, and I couldn't go forward because they didn't want to move. I asked them to move and they said there's still a space for me to go on and insisted me to move forward. I should've followed my instinct, but the pressure of everyone honking in the background got to me. I drove forward for about 15 centimeters when Jazzy stopped, telling me both of the cars have touched. The driver shook his head in disbelief that his prediction has missed as he drove away, leaving me in panic and fear. But it's done.

Let's stop there before I ruin my night.

Good Night.

xx, nessie

“One bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”

Mind this text or not, for even I, the writer, doubt the relevance of this text and whether or not I’m ever going to re-read it. I’m here just to explore this urge to write.
I’m sick at the moment. My head terribly hurts, and my fingers shake as
I write this. I couldn’t stay at home for it makes me feel more like a patient, I, of course, acted like I was alright, and ask the driver to take me since I can’t see anything clearly without squinting my eyes almost tight. I don’t want to risk killing anyone if I were to drive, because no, my father isn’t some powerful guy in the government who can get people to drop all the charges if I’m trapped behind bars. Whoops. 

Well, sarcasm and insinuation aside, I’m here sitting at a coffee shop; green sofa, looking at a green wall decorated with some abstract paintings. The smell of different types of coffee fill the space, and currently I’m enjoying the strong scent of caramel, ordered by a korean lady with a big trolley put right next to me, blocking my view of the pouring rain. She has a short simple haircut, with thick glasses that frames her face perfectly. Her gesture is awkward, and her choice of clothing reflects her ignorance of fashion, clear that she’s a housewife, a very busy one. She’s gotten herself a new pair of gold watch, took them out of the grocery bag and put it inside of her bag in hurry, a secret gift for herself, I see. She’s now getting up to leave, her husband, who looks so much older than her, waves silently from afar. I now have back my view of the wet, trembling trees across the street.

My hot chocolate has gone cold. A few teenagers chit chat in the background, taking photos of themselves and their Starbucks cups. Ha. I do that too sometimes, embarrassing. Upon my arrival, I saw a couple of kids talking to each other outside, they are what we call ‘Ojek Payung’, kids who offer their service of umbrellas so people don’t get wet getting to their car. One boy, about 6-7 years-old, was saying how he really wants to know why the ‘Rich People’ go to Starbucks, “Don’t they sell coffee like others?,” he said thoughtfully. His friend, a boy slightly shorter than he is, replied calmly, “I can make coffee, the other day my mom taught me how to.” Couldn’t help but to smile at the thought of his innocence. Now, If it wasn’t too cold outside and my head wasn’t about to explode, maybe I’d stop and chat with them. 

As cliche as this sounds; life really is a roller-coaster. I redefine what I think of it every 5 minutes. It’s ridiculous. Sometimes I feel great with the choices I have made, and sometimes I stop to think, and see that I have made some terrible ones over the years. My cousin and sister have grown the balls to open and operate a coffee shop. Now, as a girl taking the same course of business as them, it’s only natural for everyone to start asking me what I am doing or planning to do. At college, I only have my trained public answer of wanting to, in the future, be in the fashion or music industry, they assume I’d like to have my own recording company. Well, I’d like that, but that’s not exactly what I meant. I don’t know why I don’t have the natural instinct or even the guts to try jumping into businesses like my sister and cousin. It’s scares me, I can’t handle that kind or responsibility. Trust me, it worries me too. The only class that excites me, though I’m terrible at, is that Academic Writing class. I like it when I’m given the opportunity to create. CREATE. Pour out my insanity on a medium, any kind. But I don’t know if I am ever going to be able to sell things. I just got ghoosebumps thinking about it. 

Enough of future talk, it’ll give me nightmares. As the sky darkens, I’m still sitting on this green comfortable couch. The rain has now eased. The last taste of chocolate is sour in my mouth, not exactly my favorite kind of sensation. I can smell vanilla, smells just like my perfume, really wish my room could smell like this. I’m currently doing a project on the United Kingdom for my Working Across Borders class. One quotation I found on how they view the future is “One bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” I absolutely agree or I’m forced by my fear to agree, the present, that what you have now, is more important than the future and its uncertainty. I’ll try to somehow make it through the night.

xx, nessie.

Posted 2 weeks ago on
© Nasreen A Judge 2012. All Rigts Reserved.


A warm skin above the ice,
A finger running through the spines.
You’re not guilty if not caught,
Oh, the sensation of rebellion.

Staring with hollow eyes,
Oh no, you’re trapped, my vacant soul.
What a clamorous thought of reality,
Gravity, however, does not approve.

Our reflections are jaded,
And we’re down to the last round.
These hearts are dissolved in chemicals,
Those we use just to float and float.

We forget and forget again,
Our nights are nothing but legends.
As we have our feet back on the ground,
We’d need to float and float again.

© Nasreen A Judge 2012. All Rights Reserved.

Fashion and Its Nitty Gritty

One of my favorite things in the world is fashion. I believe fashion has no limitation, and although sometimes branded goods are more appealing and reassuring in terms of material, i think people should step out of their comfort zone once in a while and experiment. I know few old boutiques that sell brand new items (as in, it’s never been used before) but they’re the left overs from one, two or even 4 decades ago. Yes, they’re very old fashioned, but some are just mind blowingly gorgeous. These items are sold relatively cheap, although some have rather complicated designs and pricey materials. Like this blue dress that i bought, they’re bordered with complicated swirly pattern, and have little pearl-beads on them, also pearl buttons from top to bottom, the shape of the dress is also very well made (the curves are spot on) and it’s a dress plus cardigan thingy that you can remove if you wish. I got it only for Rp.30k which is equivalent to approx.. $3 haha. Everybody seems to love it whenever I wear it to parties. My taylor also asked for about 10 times the price when i asked if she can make a replica of it. So that’s that (:
Never stop yourself from experimenting with fashion, if anything goes wrong, one day you’ll thank your mistakes and laugh at them.

xx, nessie.

Posted 5 months ago on
© Nasreen A Judge 2012. All Rigts Reserved.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Stand Up

Fear was a young girl when she fell down,
She stares at her reflection and tears roll down her face.
Their words hurt too much, she needs to ease the pain,
Befriended by a sharp knife just to alter the rain.

Her soul is strong enough she’s not gone,
It takes her forever but she won’t be gone,

Oh girl, stand your ground, make it fine,
Their words are empty like the souls in their hands,
Oh girl, stand your ground, it’ll be all right,
We’ll dim the stage, and you’ll shine through,
So here’s your show, now stand… up.

Everyone calls her names, she’s doubting her life,
The battles in her head between her needs and conscience.
Her home’s filled with scream, she’s had enough,
She craves the feeling numb but she’ll never go away.

Her soul is strong enough she’s not gone,
It takes her forever but she won’t be gone,

Oh girl, stand your ground, make it fine,
Their words are empty like the souls in their hands,
Oh girl, stand your ground, it’ll be all right,
We’ll dim the stage, and you’ll shine through,
So here’s your show, now stand… up.

Fear, let them go,
Free yourself,
Fear, let them go, 
You'll be okay,
Fear, let them go,
Free yourself.


Oh girl, stand your ground, make it fine,
Their words are empty like the souls in their hands,
Oh girl, stand your ground, it’ll be all right,
We’ll dim the stage, and you’ll shine through,
So here’s your show, now stand… up.

So here's your show, now take a bow.

© Nasreen A Judge 2013. All Rights Reserved.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Aye, It's Three-Twenty-Five!

I was honestly going to try to post everything I've posted on my tumblr, here. But but buttt, I think I won't do that. It's boring and I think it's better to do a flash back once a while ? (;
So, desperate reposts are over, the present me is here!
I don't feel like writing, mainly because it's three in the morning or something, too lazy to check.
I hope you're all in dreamland with all the kind Disney characters. We can ask some of the villains to join though, I quite like some. (:
I'll catch you guys in a minute, I need to blog first. Ugh, nerd. :P

Creepy photo of me Noreen took today.
All for you to laugh at now. (:

Have a lovely sunday.
xx, nessie.

“Let’s go back in time” they said. A magnificent black vintage Mercedes was parked near, I had nothing better to do, so I grabbed the stranger’s hand and followed them into the curtained vehicle. Every bit after that second was changed.

Posted 8 Months ago on
© Nasreen A Judge 2012. All Rigts Reserved.

Desperation at its finest.

I go through day by day letting my dreams slip away,
I have so many things in my mind but only too little to say.
I’m an adept dreamer, nonchalant in a way,
I drift through darkness to capture its ray.
When did things get so complicated?
My childhood dreams feel violated,
My life feels so planned, directed,
Not by me, a stranger is elected.
Say what you need to,
Do what you need to do,
I won’t rip me apart for you,
It’s my time, you’ve missed your Que.

Posted 11 months ago on
© Nasreen A Judge 2012. All Rights Reserved.